When raising children, there are usually different styles. In our house, they're known as Dad-Style and Mom-Style. One isn't better than the other. They're both needed. Today's post will look at a few topics and how Dad-Style handles them (in our house anyway).
Fixing hair, Dad-style: Grab all of daughter's hair in one clump in the back of her head, trying to make it all look smooth and whatever. Use a spray bottle of water beforehand if the hair won't lie still. Grab the special hair rubber band (don't use a real rubber band, big mistake) and secure the hair in the same manner as you would if you were putting a real rubber band around a handful of pencils. If you placed the rubber band too low, just lightly tug the hair apart to make the rubber band move up. Don’t do it too quickly or roughly because you may get a crying girl. There is almost nothing worse than a crying little girl.
Or you could just wait till mom gets home!
Dressing Baby, Dad-style: Rummage in drawer until you find a "onesie" - the baby T-shirt with snaps at the crotch. Put it on the baby. The snaps make it a full outfit – the comfort of pajamas without all the fuss and frills. If it's winter, add a pair of pants pulled up high enough to make the baby look like Grandma. You don’t want her tripping over the bottoms of her pants.
Putting away leftovers, Dad-style: Find the top to the pot, put on, place in fridge for lunch tomorrow. Or, “accidentally” leave it on the table for a few hours so you don’t feel guilty throwing it away. You can always rationalize it by saying, “The bacteria that grew on it could make us sick.”
(I don't take pictures of leftovers)
Playing with My Little Ponies (or anything for that matter), Dad-style: Build a big castle with wooden blocks and then attack! Attack! Attack! Ignore little girls who are trying to ask your pony's name and saying "Hi" to it. This is a trap. Once you say “hi,” you’re going to get pulled into a conversation and trapped. Conversations are a playtime killer! The last thing you want is for playtime to be turned into a family drama. Keep it an adventure fantasy. They’re much more exciting.
Putting Baby down for a nap, Dad-style: Hold Baby on lap, turn on the xbox and play a game until Baby falls asleep. Trust me, this works. It actually works better than rocking. Maybe because they’re girls and it bores them more quickly. Who knows! The point is it works like a charm, and we’re all happier for it.
Feel free to add some of your own...
Scott Keen is the author of two young adult fantasy novels, Scar of the Downers and Rise of the Branded. His third and final book of the Scar of the Downer Series should be released sometime next year.