My Legacy

​What sort of legacy am I going to leave to my children? What is it that they will take from me after knowing me as their father?
 
I’m not sure if other people think about this often, but I can say that these questions have visited me over the years. Especially, as I grow older and see my children do the same. You see, my wife and I have sacrificed a lot over the years for what we thought was best for our children and family. 

This picture is a little more than I currently make.

• Money – I’ve grown up with very little of it. My parents worked hard and gave us what we needed, and that was enough. You see, paycheck-to-paycheck is the only way I’ve ever known life. It is how I was raised and it is where I am now. I’ve never looked back at my life and said that the one thing I needed more of was money. It’s never been something I have sought after. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to pay the bills. It doesn’t mean that I wouldn't like a new pair of pants once in a while (The last pair of pants I bought was over a year ago, making the total number of pants I have without rips – 2). I will be honest, however, and admit that here have been opportunities for me to teach and earn money that I had to turn down. Why? The answer is simple. I still have two little children at home. I don’t believe in sending them to daycare. That is just something my wife and I feel strongly about in our family. So, if it’s between our conviction and money, I guess I will be poor for the rest of my life. 

Don't be fooled. These aren't my clothes. It's a stock image.

• Career – For all intents and purposes, I don’t have a career. In fact, I’ve never had one (not for a lack of trying.) I don’t have any retirement either. Though I feel I am intelligent and can learn quickly, I possess very little “experience” that the outside world deems valuable. I have sacrificed much of my earning potential in order to fulfill our family’s desire that a parent is to remain at home with our children while they are young. Have I lost the “better” part of my life for this? Perhaps. But in the end, I have gained so much more. My children, once they are grown, can look back at their childhood and remember the times they had at home. We have given them that. We have given them memories, and that is something that no one can take away.

• Raising Children – This isn’t something I sacrificed, this is something my wife has had to. Because of the nature of the society in which we live, she was the one who was able to find a full-time job. She has always wanted to stay at home with our children, and we have tried so hard to make that happen. It, however, has been beyond difficult to find a full-time job. Knowing that her dream may never be fulfilled makes me extremely sad. It is even difficult writing this. But we have been blessed with the ability to eat with her at lunch and see her at times during the day. Though it doesn’t make up for not being her fulltime, it does lessen the pain of her absence. 

You see, the legacy I want to leave my children is that you must sacrifice much for the ones you love. That is what I want them to realize. That is what I want them to learn. It is not about my dreams or desires. I should be last in this family, not first. That is what a leader does. He makes sure the needs of the ones around him are met before his. We live in a “take-care-of-yourself-first” society. That, however, is not what I want my legacy to be. I want my children and wife to know that I tried to take care of them first (though I wasn’t often successful.) Because in the end, if you can’t sacrifice, you can’t love.